I have thought of undergoing facial reconstruction before meeting the team of doctors at the NYU Medical Center. However,
cost was a factor, and soon, I gave up on the reconstruction idea...until 1995 when I could no longer tolerate insults,
and finally joined the "Operation Smile" program. The "Operation Smile" program gave patients, who had craniofacial conditions,
an opportunity to get the distortion corrected. I am one of those lucky patients because when I joined the program,
I was told that "if surgery is recommended, surgery will be offered free." And so, I have begun the reconstructive process in 1995.
Post-op...a lot of people say that I am looking good and a lot better after each surgery.
Sometimes, I don't really believe it because I still feel the same way about myself. Occasionally,
I would still take two mirrors to look at myself, reflecting in such a way so I can see how people
view me. It is upsetting sometimes because it reminds me that I am cleft-lip & palate.
However, I may not notice it but I do feel better after each surgery because I know that I
look so-called "normal" again, like other people. As I am getting closer to the end
of my surgeries, I gradually feel prettier and have become more optimistic. Actually, learning to feel
good about oneself is very important. I think one of the best ways to do so is to meet new people and open
up oneself. Sometimes, I know it is hard because acquiring something different from other
people sets me back (too) but meeting new people, learning about them, and opening up myself
have made me realize that the world is very big and I need to learn more about it. Also, I discern
that I am not the only person who experiences fear, sadness, loneliness, etc. At times, I don't
mind talking about myself, but I generally don't like it because I get the feeling that people
sympathizes me; to me, that is a sign of weakness. Anyhow, I strive arduously to attain
my goals. I want to prove that I am just as good as everyone else; I am competent, I am strong,
and I am unafraid.
Dr. Court Cutting (My surgeon) - You are truly amazing and I am so glad that
you are my surgeon! Thank-YOU so much for operating all of these surgeries on me! You are
such a brave surgeon, so I ought to be a brave patient? Once again, thank you for all you
have done for me!
Dr. Barry Grayson (My orthodontist) - Thank you "always" for advising and making
this reconstruction a reality to me...your answers to my many questions are always very helpful. "Thank you so much!"
Dr. Richard Hopper (Surgical Assistant, 2000) - Thank you very much for visiting
me and assuring me that everything has gone great and will continue to be fine!
You are a wonderful doctor! "Thank you!"
Dr. Susan Karabin (My Periodontist, 2000-2001) - I believe it is Fate to give me the honor to know you.
Due to the surgeries, I admit I don't like to coming to your appointments, but I know you try to make
them less painful. In any case, I graciously thank-YOU for your gentleness. Actually, I do like visiting
you because you are such a cool & wonderful doctor!
Dr. Ernest Chiu (Surgical Assistant, 2002) - You are a great doctor! Thank you very much
for being gentle on me during the separation procedure. It was my worst experience of all the surgeries I
have had but I'm so glad that was over! I'm also glad that when you, doctors, say you'd do it now,
it means NOW because once it's over, I don't have to worry about it. Anyway, (again) you're a really
cool doctor and I hope we'd keep in touch.
Dr. Ingrid Brielles (2000-2001) - You are a very sweet and caring doctor,
and I know my mouth is small, but please have mercy on my cheeks? Hehe! And by the
way, I really like the pontic ~ thanks for the idea ~ and I hope I can keep the tooth.
Dr. Bruno Venditelli (1999-2000) - I hate to switch doctors every year,
especially when I have met a very good doctor, like you. I wished you didn't need to
move back to Canada because you were wonderful! Anyway, I missed you and I hope
I get to see you again in the future, perhaps like the way I saw you at the
bar with Julie. Nah, I didn't get drunk that night. Haha!
Dr. Catherine Lee (1999) - You were my second female doctor and I hated seeing
you leave because you made me feel at ease. I miss you a lot. Anyhow, I hope you are
finding a successful career in Australia! P.S. I would love you help you
whenever you need my assistance ~ I am definitely more than happy to volunteer my
time in helping other patients. And thank you for considering me to assist you in
any time of service!
Dr. Karaferis (1998-1999) - Although my mouth couldn't expand any larger,
your experienced skills had calmed my nerves, and I knew you had tried to make
it less painful. You were a really good doctor.
Dr. Vasiliu (1997-1998) - Out of all the doctors I have had,
I will surely & definitely remember you because you had such big & thick fingers!
You practically pry my small mouth open! Ouch! * sniff sniff *
Dr. Joanne Forsea (1996-1997) - You were my first female doctor and the one
with the most delicate fingers. I missed you a lot and I also missed all of those
cool multicolored & metallic colored elastics! By the way, I still have the nice
smelling wax in that little cute case ~ I never used it! Hehe!
Dr. Albert Chiu (1995-1996) - I will never forget the most horrible moment of
my orthodontic treatment, which was tying my two front teeth together!!!
I still get sore feelings whenever other doctors touch them.
Other Doctors on the Team - Sorry that I don't know your names but thank you very
much for visiting me during my stay in the hospital and most importantly, thank you for
making this reality happen to me ~ it has been painful but it's too good to be true!
Pat Chibbaro - Thank you for visiting me! That means so much to me! And even though
we don't always sit down and talk, I know that you care about me; thank you ~ you are wonderful!
Michael (from Pre-Admission Testing Office) - Of all the nurses I had
encountered, you were the only (like the way you had even said it) one who was
the most gentle. I will never forget the "butterfly needle." I asked for that
when the anesthesiologist put me on IV; he thought I was nuts because that
was for babies ~ well, obviously, I am like a baby when it comes to needles.
Julie - You are such a sweet person! I remember meeting you
several times for the x-rays and now, I am so glad that we have become
friends! You are like a sister to me and I want to thank-YOU so much
for inviting me into your realm of fun!
Lucy - It has been great meeting you and I think you are so
sweet and kind! I thank-YOU for your kindness. You make me feel
so special and thanks for lending me your advice about...(if you remembered what
we said last time, hehe)
Sabina - Thank you very much for making me laugh, especially at my
most painful moments. You are so sweet & kind! I love the gift that you, Lucy and
Jules got for me! You are the angels in my life! The little bear is sitting
on one of my desks in my room, protecting me from evil!
Carmen (from Dr. Karabin's office) - Thank you very much for making me laugh!
Your laughter lessened my fear during the surgery, and I couldn't believe you almost fell
on me last time! That was so funny and I was trying hard not to laugh! Haha!
How should I begin? I always thought I am "unfortunate" because I have a facial deformity.
I am a bilateral cleft-lip and palate, inherited from my father whom he has also inherited from his ancestors...
DATE
TYPE OF SURGERY PERFORMED
Baby
2 separate surgeries that repaired my palate & lips
1995 - 2000
All orthodontal work...
2000
LeFort (advancement of upper jaw),
Bone Graft & Small Advancement of chin
2000
Nose revision, work was done on one side of nose
2002
Abbe Flap (borrowing lip tissue from the lower to upper,
so it balances out the evenness of the lips)
As I am walking through this journey of transformation, I find that "acceptance" is a major
influence on the life of any adolescent. Prior to my surgeries, I would say that everything I
viewed tend to be on the negative side because I wasn't very pretty. Kids made fun of me,
especially ones from junior high schools; those kids thought they were very cool
and they felt like they had the right to make fun of others. I wished that parents of those kids
would take more time and teach them that it was wrong, but in general, I think today's
children needs to be more educated and also disciplined because today's society does not stress that enough.